| Let's keep this IC |
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February 23rd, 2010 AT 1:25am
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why do you hate me so much?
||spam||text||anon||
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January 4th, 2008 AT 11:26am
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You've got them all by the balls.
Doll, you make them feel so small.
Ryanne reaches for the clear bottle with the red cap. Her deep husky voice mutters 'fuck' as she knocks over her glass. She's been drinking ever since she woke up with a hang over. Her stomach tense and her head throbbing, why drink so much if you felt like shit? No one could or ever would understand a woman like her self. Why she did the things she did. Ryanne sat up in her chair at her kitchen table and fixed her glass before pouring the alcohol half way then the energy drink was the rest. That was her absolute bull. The story of her life lay in the title of an alcoholic beverage. The filth that spill from her lips, the life story she held within herself was absolute bull. Granted the woman was true to who she was but was never true to how she came to be the person who stood tall among the faceless crowds. Ryanne McMahon was born on a cold morning on February 5, 1980. Her parents wanted a boy after having their first daughter but when Ryanne slid from her mother's womb she was anything but a boy. Ryanne had the best childhood any child could ask for but there was always something everyone knew she'd become. By the time Ryanne was nine she knew and could let anyone know she wasn't into boys and when she was fourteen she came out and announced she was a lesbian.
Her hands snaked to the glass and picked it up, downing it all as fast as she could. She wanted it in her blood stream, wanted to forget the pain of the memories slipping to her brain. The flashes of the camera as her mother remarried. Another man in her life. One who wasn't her father. Ryanne was a complete daddy's child. Wanted to fix broken things, drink the beer and watch the game with him. However, when she was sixteen her parents split and a few months later a new man entered the home. The Jamaican sugar-daddy Ryanne called him as her mother quit her job to be a stay at home mother for the new baby. Her mother preparing for the new tyke gave enough initiative for Ryanne to experiment with her new father figure's father skills. Originally she was nine when she smoked her first bowl of pot but when her new father came she was into heavier and her step father supplied the goods.
Walking down Fifth Avenue, Ryanne couldn't afford even to park there but that's where she was discovered, discovered by the man who saw model potential seeping from the young woman's skin. 'Come with me and I'll make you a hit.' He told her, just like her step father too. She was never one to open up about her father's sexual attraction to her but fueled many arguments with her mother and was reason to flee from home. Any given chance (there were many) Ryanne would stay out as late as possible and that's how she found the trouble. The friends she made weren't friends anyone would keep, the drugs, the sex; the running from police wasn't at all what Ryanne intended on getting herself into. However, agreeing to doing an ad for some big shot landed her enough money to move out of the state and out to Jersey. Start fresh, new slate, new person.
Her long trembling fingers reach again for the empty bottle and curses under her breath. She pulls herself to her feet and stumbles into her bedroom. What a mess you've become, nothing is ever taken care of. You spend so much time on running than you do facing your own problems. Tripping over a few piles of clothing she gets to her dresser where the powder sat calling her name out. Bending down she sniffs and rubs her nose clean. 5 lines turn to 4. 4 turn to 3 and so on until all were done and her nose was left high and dry. A glance in the mirror and she wonders how she keeps her job as an assistant for the mental health; when her health slips by with every hard drug she uses.
• Irish
• Has a few tattoos; a sparrow above her right elbow, the number 21 on her left middle finger, a cross on her wrist and 'Marry' written on her right forearm.
• Heavy drinker
• Very caring
• Drops the word 'Dyke' like it's hot
• Loves her parents and brother however barely talks to her sister
• Drove a black 1969 Camaro until she recently crashed it (won't speak of why or how); Ryanne now owns a 1990 Camaro
• Had a small modeling career and worked as a living assistant for the mentally challenged; currently looking for new employment
• Ryanne doesn't believe in monogamous relationships
• Messing up every relationship she's ever had whether it be with girlfriends or family members
• Listens to The Beatles and Jackson 5
• Holds a distance between herself and others
• Hates bringing up that she was a model
• Comfortable with being naked
• Not a fighter
• Loves the lipstick lesbians
• Dated a straight woman; she now gets to say she turned a straight woman gay
• Very loyal to her friends
• Strays in and out of depression; enjoys being a loner
• Smokes Pall Malls; a pack and a half a day
• Addicted to Vodka, Coffee, and cigarettes
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